Tomorrow my husband and I will be celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary. It’s unbelievable to me that it’s been that long! Actually, on the one hand it seems like the time has flown by; while on the other hand, when I stop to really think about everything that’s happened, I realize that it is obvious it’s been that long.

We’ve been through so much together. Some really great times, and some really bad times. Ya’ know, life has a way of teaching us things the hard way when we’re too blind/stubborn to learn them on our own. Suffice it to say that life has stepped in a few times and taught us things. There are so many, but if I had to narrow it down, I’d say the most important lessons we’ve learned are:

Defensiveness has no place in a marriage.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to feelings.

Love your partner the way they need to be loved, not the way you think they should be loved.

Forgiveness is the staple of any good relationship.

Attention to the small things is more important and meaningful than a gesture of huge proportions.

When you cannot understand what your partner is feeling or why, validate their right to feel it and support them anyway.

Those are just a few. As much as I regret some of the things I’ve done and some of the things we’ve been through, I’m also grateful for having experienced them. If we had not, we would not be who/where we are today. It was worth the growing pains it took to get here.

Remember a few days ago when I asked you what true love meant to you? I told you I would give you my opinion after I heard yours (which, by the way, were wonderful! thank you!). Well, this is how I feel about it.

And to my husband, best friend, confidant, ardent supporter and comic relief — I love you with all my heart. Happy Anniversary!

It has been ages since I laughed so hard ….. I can’t even remember the last time I laughed ’til I cried and couldn’t catch my breath ….. until tonight. What began as a serious chat between friends quickly turned into a laughfest with one slip of the tongue (or should I say one slip of a keystroke? *grin*); from there it kept snowballing until we couldn’t stop. lol It felt sooo good to laugh like that! My daughter thought I was nuts, and I couldn’t even speak to my husband when he walked in the door. All I could do was look at him and crack up laughing. lol

Laughter is the best medicine they say ….. after tonight I’d have to agree with them (whomever “they” are). But the true blessing is the fact that the relationship I share with these women is such that it makes this kind of raucous laughter possible. The flow between us is easy and unrestrained; honest and open. I think that is where the true medicine lies.

Min …. Jen …. thank you! )

It is said that familiarity breeds contempt. I’m not there …. yet. But I know that, in my experience, familiarity certainly has bred a cautious nature. I don’t like it. With each new episode of past memory, the brick and mortar grows ever-higher. I find myself hiding behind the wall in an effort to find protection from what I’ve come to know by heart. And yet … I allow myself the slightest hope that this time will be different, because ….

the good is oh, so good ….

but the other is …. oh, so familiar.

Such is life.