The Somewhere I Long to Be
I plead with the darkness to
Hasten its arrival -
Come swiftly to my waiting embrace,
Taking from my vision the glare of light,
From my mind the pain of conscious thought,
Bringing me to screeching numbness,
Delivering me from the gnashing of teeth and the
Twisting of nerves -
Sizzling,
Cauterizing;
Holding captive every drop of
Emotion,
Frustration,
Worry and fear,
With not even a blade’s kiss bringing a crimson offering,
For the gravity of disillusionment pulls every flow of red internal;
The steely false-face of strength frightening tears into submission,
Giving them no choice but to lap at wounds, unforgiving,
Their salt mercilessly stinging,
again,
and again,
and again.
So come, sweet darkness, I beg,
And carry me happily away in your
Nightly vessel to nowhere,
Taking me to the somewhere I long to be -
Alone;
Thinking nothing,
Feeling nothing,
Seeing nothing,
Saying nothing;
All so that in the end, when I awaken,
I can, for a few groggy, half-sleeping moments,
Float in an absent mind,
Believing everything is as it should be,
Before reality snarls me fully awake,
Beginning the journey, once again, in my
Search for the land of “as it should be” within the
Realm of conscious daylight,
Finally healing my need for the somewhere I long to be.
Copyright © S. Leigh Marin
August 26, 2002
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