*HeeHee HaHa SnortSnort*

30th July, 2004

Thank goodness for sisters! My last few entries likely would not have made it to your friendly computer screen had it not been for my wonderful sister, Debbie. She has been sending me the best and funniest emails of late, for which I am very grateful! Thanks, Sis - you rock! ;)

She has sent yet another, probably the best one of all. It is SO funny - and SO true! (for perimenopausal women, too - trust me. well … most of ‘em, anyway. *wink*) LOL It is entitled:

“The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause”

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause arrived at my door without warning: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and All-Dried-Up.

One by one they crept into my own private cottage in the woods and started to take over my life. The first to arrive was Itchy. I developed this itch on my right calf that was so irritating, I wanted to scratch the skin right off my body. smily

Then Bitchy came to my door. No longer was my PMS contained to one or two days a month - it felt like constant PMS! smily

Then I would swing from Bitchy to Weepy; for God’s sake, what was wrong with me?? smily

Ding-dong …… it’s the middle of the night and Sweaty has crawled into bed with me. Oh yes, Sweaty brought embarrassing hot flashes and introduced me to night sweats where it seemed as if a faucet had been attached between my breasts. smily

Of course Sweaty brought about Sleepy because I was tired all the time, but only because I would wake up so many times during the night and not be able to get back to sleep! smily

Bloated crept in slowly; my once-svelte figure got thick through the middle section, even though I was following my weight-loss program that had worked so well for so many years! smily

I can’t quite remember when Forgetful arrived, but one day my brain stopped working. I considered myself a pretty focused woman until Forgetful came, then I couldn’t keep a single coherent thought in my brain! smily

Lastly, All-Dried-Up slowly encroached upon my happy marriage. This was probably the most unpleasant of the dwarf family. Sex was no longer on the top of my list … or on my list at all. My husband would give me that knowing look, and I would think, “Frankly, I’d rather have a smoothie!” smily

LOLOL! smily

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2 Responses to “*HeeHee HaHa SnortSnort*”

  1. CJ
    July 30th, 2004 at 1:37 pm

    Too funny Leigh, and thanks so much for sharing. Having not had to go through that “stage” of womanhood (because the innards were yanked out a long time ago), I can only empathize with all the menopausal women.

    I remember my Granny telling our neighbor lady something once… it went something like this. “You’re probably going through the CHANGE.” Of course me being a “kid” at the time, I was curious as all get out, and kept asking with a room full of people (men & women), what my neighbor was going to “CHANGE” into? My Granny would just brush me off, saying she’d tell me later. But of course little Miss “I have to know right now”, would not give up… I kept on & on. Finally Granny said… she was going to CHANGE into a woman. Of course I couldn’t be satisfied with that, knowing she already was one, so I asked… “Well if she’s going to CHANGE into a woman, what is she now?” Everyone roared & roared, that I do remember, and I also remember that keen hickory switch that Granny used on my hiney, when we got home too.

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  2. Debbie
    July 31st, 2004 at 1:56 am

    LOL That is just too funny!!! Thanks for sharing.

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