There are many things about getting older which frustrate, perplex, fascinate, even anger me, but none quite as much as the inexplicable appearance of hair after the age of 40 in places where hair has never before grown. Now, if that’s not bad enough, consider, then, the completely baffling and, might I say, downright eerie, overnight manifestation of a single long, horsehair-like eyebrow. Why, it’s enough to give me chills as I sit here! And don’t try telling me it was there before I went to bed, because I know it wasn’t! These monster hairs sprout in a matter of hours amid all the other eyebrow hair in an effort to remain hidden, but their presence can be discovered with ones first glance in the morning mirror if you take the time to look closely. I have yet to discover their purpose. All I know for sure is that they do, indeed, prey upon men and women alike. I thought it only right to bring this to your attention, especially if you are under 40 so that you can prepare for the future! Start practicing now — always have a pair of tweezers at the ready first thing in the morning. You have to be quick, because they hide! If you look away for even an instant, you won’t be able to find it again — until you’re at work, of course, and completely unable to tweeze, pull, pluck or cut! (They’re nasty like that)

Perhaps if we all mount up and take a stand against rogue eyebrow hair, it will force them into submission. Naaaaa.

Oh, and one more thing –

NO, I have not been drinking.