Thoughtprints

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life and the changes I've been through the last 4 years or so. I went from being a strong, steady individual to a highly anxious, depressed one. My mother's illness and death really took a huge chunk of me away. I even had to quit my job. I couldn't handle anything.

I went to the doctor and found that I also had extremely high blood pressure. I started meds for everything -- anxiety, depression and high BP. I felt ashamed. Humiliated. I had always been able to handle just about anything that came my way. Suddenly, I only felt helpless. I continued taking the meds all these years, never really feeling much better. I recently went to see my doctor and told her I wanted to change my anti-anxiety/antidepressant medication. When I questioned her about there being something better than Paxil on the market now, her response was "Oh yes; I don't even prescribe Paxil anymore". I was flabbergasted! She'd been refilling my prescription for FOUR years and had never mentioned changing it to something new. Of course, I had never told her I wasn't happy with it, either, which I most definitely should have done. Anyway, I'm now taking Celexa and feeling SO MUCH better. I'm feeling more and more like my old self every single day. I so wish I had changed meds a LONG time ago.

I'm telling you all of this for two reasons: I don't want any of you who are currently on meds such as mine to EVER feel ashamed or like a failure because you have to take them. There is nothing shameful in helping yourself! This world is a hard place in which to live. It's beyond stressful, and sometimes we all need help, ya' know? It's not a failure; it's brave! It takes guts to reach out and ask for help. Secondly, PLEASE keep yourself educated on the types of medications available for your particular needs. If I had done that, I would have known long ago to get off Paxil and try something new. I so regret losing the time I did taking something that didn't really help me. I'm not going to focus on that, though. I'm going to take the blessings of my new medication and run with them! I no longer feel like hiding from life and the world -- I want to be part of it again, finally. It's so wonderful to feel like this again! I still have a ways to go, but I'm taking it one day at a time and am very happy doing so.

Please, if you feel you may need help, go see your doctor. Research your feelings and symptoms and educate yourself. Be a proactive patient, and do NOT feel badly about seeking the help you need. It's the bravest thing you can do for yourself!

Anti-anxiety Medications, Antidepressant Medications, Celexa