Pot Luck Thoughts
I get to feeling guilty when I don't post here for a while. You all are always so good to me, and I feel as though I'm giving nothing back. I do apologize. I know you understand, though, because you are so great. :)
Sometimes life seems almost normal. I laugh, I smile .... then suddenly something will happen, or someone will say something, or my mind just kicks in, and the reality of my mother no longer being here physically with us hits me; it hits me really hard. You see, my mom and I were extremely close. There hasn't been a single time in my entire life that I went this long without talking to her. It's been 2 1/2 weeks, and I'm having horrible feelings that I can only describe as "withdrawal". I miss her so much it hurts. A lot.
You know what typical Spring weather is like in Colorado? It's when you run your air conditioner and watch footage of tornados on the nightly news one day, then run your furnace the next and watch snow falling up in Denver and the mountains on the nightly news. Nothing unusual 'bout that 'round here! Hey Sarah, how much snow did you get up there? ;)
*yaaawn* I'm gonna go watch some TV and try to get sleepy enough to actually fall asleep. Hope ya'll have a happy Thursday! :)
Thoughts from others
Its been two years for me and I still miss calling my Mom, we called each other every day - I still miss that connection. When I landed a better job, she was the first person I wanted to call and it killed me that I couldn't. It hit me then how much I never realized how much I depended on her being there...I missed her for me.
I know she is in a better place so I keep that thought in mind. I talk to her now when I am alone, sometimes in my mind, sometimes out loud - like when I am making her famous lemon meringue pie...she seems so close to me then, sometimes I catch a scent, a feeling or a whisper caress on my skin and I think of her...and know she will always be with me...in my heart.
You will come through this, I know because I have been where you are and I too thought the pain would never end, but it does...and while that dull ache, that little undefinable emptiness remains, I have found comfort in knowing that she lives on through me, through my brothers, and through her grandchildren and I am learning to smile more...you will too in time.
My best wishes and prayers for strength go out to you.
Posted by: Susan | May 13, 2004 5:20 AM
Posted by: Carrie | May 22, 2004 11:12 AM