Thoughtprints

First of all, I want to thank each and every one of you for your beautiful birthday wishes. :) I would love to answer them all individually, but I simply don't have the time, I'm so sorry. As for my birthday, it didn't turn out so good ..... I should preface this with a little recent history regarding my mother's situation:

She asked my sisters and me to come over on Monday to talk. My oldest sister was at work, so of course could not come at that time, but my other sister and I went over as Mom requested. She told us she didn't know what she was going to do, but knew she needed more help, and felt very, very sick. We told her that we were already in the process of finding alternative care for her, and examining all of our options. We, too, had been going over to help her much more of late. Needless to say, we were profoundly worried about her, and knew she was going downhill fast. We called the home health care agency from which she receives care for her feet and legs (long story), and asked them to please send one of their R.N.s over to evaluate her condition and help us, because we had had her at the E.R. just a week and a half ago, and all they did was give her an injection of pain medication and sent her home, so we simply didn't know where else to turn. So anyway, our favorite R.N. (Tim) came over yesterday and with one look at her, immediately started the ball rolling for admittance into the hospital. He succeeded in talking her into switching doctors (which we have not been able to do regardless of how hard we tried!), called another doc to take her case and talked her into admitting Mom to the hospital, and then called the hospital E.R. and told them all of her physical problems and needs and told them to be expecting us. We were SO grateful! It took 4 of us to get Mom to the car, but we did it. We got her to the hospital by noon, but it took them over 4 hours to get her fully evaulated, get the preliminary tests done, and get her to her room upstairs. My sister and I were there with her all day.

Frankly, I don't know if she can turn around from this one. She's pretty bad. Tim called it "failure to thrive". He told Mom that if she didn't get help immediately, it would be too late and she would die. It scared the hell out of me. Even though I know intellectually that her time may be drawing to a close, emotionally I am absolutely not ready to accept it. I don't want to lose my Mom. I can't even imagine life without her.

Damn. I better stop now. I'm getting too upset and I mustn't do that because I need to get myself ready and get up to the hospital. I just wanted ya'll to know a bit of what's going on and why I am gone from here so much, and why I cannot answer your amazing birthday wishes with a personal "thank you" to each of you. Please know how much it meant to me -- how much YOU mean to me. You're phenomenal people, and I am most definitely blessed to know you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for helping to "prop me up" during this difficult time. Without you, I really think I would fall down.

Love and Hugs,
Leigh
xoxoxoxo