Time to Come Clean

I have a confession to make .....

I'm a smoker. Well, technically, I'm a "recovering" smoker -- hopefully. I now stand at about 40 hours completely smoke-free ....

AND IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!

Seriously, you guys, I feel like I'm going crazy. It's taking all the will power and self-discipline I can muster to not go light up right this minute. I never talked about being a smoker because it's such a smelly, disgusting habit, but that didn't stop me from smoking. The truth is, I enjoyed it. I still do, which is why this is sooo hard for me. But ... another truth is that it is destroying my health, and there is no way I'm going to continue letting that happen.

I think I'm confessing all this now because I really need some support! My daughter is very good about supporting me in this effort, but no one else is really paying attention. You can even lie to me - tell me you'll reward me for quitting with chocolate, or punish me for lighting up by hacking my site to pieces - anything! LOL

Also, if I seem .... "edgy" ... or abrupt ... please forgive me. I'm just feeling really out of control right now with regard to my emotions, and I'm extremely irritable. In fact, one could call me a bitch on wheels and it would simply be the truth, not an insult. LOL

So there ya' have it - my confession. Ahhhhh ... I feel better. *wink*

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Thoughts from others

Is it the actual nicotine that you're craving? An ex of mine had a co-worker that just needed something in her hands. She resolved her "cravings" by carrying around a pen.

In any event, if you can resist, I will reward you with a homemade cheesecake!

I will reward you with a little surprise in the mail... BTW ... did you ever get the package I sent last week?
Love you, Leigh! ^_^

I know it has to be hard Leigh, but if you get to craving the nicotine or "something" in your mouth... make some carrot sticks... it works. Mallory used to smoke, and Mary Ann (another Health Care aide), smoked like a train before they came to work for me. They both said holding/putting a carrot stick or celery stick in their mouth, when they felt that "URGE", did the trick.

Mallory says to take a pack of smokes and each time you think you want one... take it out... and break the filter off... toss the smoke in the garbage, hold the filter between your lips/teeth.

So let me put it this way... IF you don't stop I'll post pictures of a nice healthy set of lungs and then I'll post pictures of nassy looking LEIGH lungs! *wink* Love you... take care of you... and one day at a time my friend... one day at a time... ((hugs)) :)

this reminds me of that dream leigh...do you remember???
honey i know hard hard it is to quit... you supported me the couple of tiems i have tried (no i ahvent succeeded eyt) but that doesnt diminish the support you gave... my email is open to any and all vents rages etc...always. post to my blog if your email isnt working yet you can rant and rave and vent all you want! i lvoe you sweets! always and forever
min

Okay, if you can do it, so can I. Leigh, I am SO proud of you for taking that first step! I've been thinking and feeling exactly the same way, right down to the not wanting to admit it.

I'll support you 100%. Do it for you -- everyone else will benefit obviously, but mostly do it for you. You are SO worth it.

Good luck and keep at it. If you fail, you can pick right back up and try again. Some people, like Carl, take years to successfully quit; others can do it in a matter of weeks.

The amount of chemicals and crap that's in the cigarettes today will fight you tooth and nail. You can beat them.

GO, LEIGH, GO!!!

Oh Leigh, you don't know how happy I am to hear you say that. *HUGE smile* You're right...smoking is a smelly, disgusting habit that not only costs you heaps of money, it can cost you your life. Smoking is the cause of many life threatening diseases. DON'T you DARE light up another cigarette, girl!! You can do this!! :))) I don't care how much of a bitch you become during the process. lol You won't know yourself Leigh. You'll feel and smell (lol) like a new woman. I've never been a smoker, but Randall was until 1988. I hated it. Wouldn't let him smoke around Andrew (he was a baby at the time) and refused to kiss him until he brushed his teeth. lol Anyway, when we finally get to have that walk on the beach. ;) I don't won't you running outta breathe trying to keep up with me. lol Like I said before, I am sooo pleased to hear you say you're kicking the habit. And IF i see(yes, I am watching) or hear of you lighting up another one of those disgusting things...this is what I'll do to ya!

Thank you all so very, very much for your sincere encouragement and support! {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

April, I think you are right - it's not so much the smoke I miss, but the act of smoking. I actually went outside once and pretended to smoke, using an old cigarette butt. LOL It actually helped! I think I might keep doing that for a while ... and fantasize about cheesecake. ;)

Bev, bless your heart. :) You're so sweet. No, I haven't received a package. :( I didn't even know you had sent anything! You're just so darn thoughtful! :) ((((huggg))))

CJ, I think I'm going to do what Mallory said. It may sound weird to non-smokers, but it makes perfect sense to me. LOL And you're right, one day at a time. :) Thank you for your support, hon ... and get those nassy lookin' pics ready to post! LOL I may need to see 'em! ;) Love you right back! :)

Min, yes, I remember that dream. ;) You psychic, you! LOL Yeah, it is hard. Really hard. But I knew you would be right there for me. I knew all I had to do was tell you what I was doing. ;) THANK YOU for that! ((((HUG)))) I may just take you up on that venting offer! ;) I love you, too! :)))

Oh Leslie, THANK YOU! You have no idea what your words meant to me! Reading them gave me such a shot in the arm and made me feel like I can really do this! :) Thank you!! It's almost 48 hours now and I still haven't had even one drag off a cigarette. It's a real struggle, but God made me stubborn for a reason! *wink* ((((HUG))))

LOL @ Debbie! I better do what you say, cuz I sure don't want a rolling pin up against my head! LOL!! I know I will feel so much better. THAT'S what I can hardly wait for! Right now it's just really playing havoc with how I feel, including my ability to sleep, but I know I can do this. I might not succeed immediately, but if I keep plugging away, I will finally kick this horrid thing! I will be very, very glad, too! THANK YOU, my friend, for always being there for me, regardless. Even if it's to knock me upside the head. LOL! ;) Love you oodles! :)))

Thanks again, Everyone! {{{{{BIG HUGS }}}}}

Well I am late with the treaths...err advice for you not smoking. :) you hang in there, I know you can do it for you are strong person.
((hugs))

It took my friend Mimi http://hometown.aol.com/mimirosenblatt/ getting lung cancer and having to have a lung removed, before she quit smoking. She has since had the cancer spread to her brain. I don't want to see that happen to you. You can do this! I know you can.

You hang in there! I'm sure it must be hard; I know how bitchy the boyfriend gets when he tries to quit. But just remember how much better off you'll be once you do it (I'm trying do the same thing to help lose weight).

I saw things at Costcos today you suck on... to help the cravings.

My sister said it is more of the act of smoking then doing it... she too is trying to at least cut down.

I've tried to quit now 3 times. it is incredibly hard to do. but the benefits to your health are amazing. you don't realize how sick smoking actually makes you feel all the time until you get all that crap out of your system. hang in there!

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