Every time I plan to do something, something happens to either mess it up, or nix it altogether. I'm not exaggerating! I'm serious! Every time. So I decided a long time ago that if I want to do stuff, I need to do it spontaneously.

It seems the Blogathon wasn't meant to be any different. Oh, don't misunderstand, I am doing the Blogathon, but I had to do something which I dislike a great deal in order to do so.

I think I've mentioned here before that I am really bad at saying "no", haven't I? It's sooo hard for me! Well, turns out my Mom's caretaker, who always has Thursdays off, wants to work this Thursday and take Saturday off instead. My sister called to tell me, and asked which "shift" I wanted on Saturday -- midday or evening. (my 2 sisters and I take turns, 2 of us every Thurs., with the 3rd having the week "off", and it's not my week off) I felt really, really bad telling her I couldn't do it because of the Blogathon. I know it probably sounds lame, but I have so much guilt now. I absolutely hate letting people down, disappointing them or inconveniencing them! And therein lies the reason behind my inability to say NO. Other people can tell me no, but I can't tell them no! How weird is that?? This time, though, I had to say no -- I've made a commitment to myself and to my charity, and there's no way I'm not going to come through! I could hear in my sister's voice that she was disappointed and it made me feel so bad. I know she understands, because that's how she is -- a total sweetheart! But I still feel bad.

Speaking of the Blogathon, I have another sponsor!! w00t!! An enormous thank you to Becky!! :) That now brings my total to $160. I don't think I'm going to meet my personal goal of $500, but that's okay, cuz every dollar counts! :) Remember, you can still sponsor me; and this year they're going to keep sponsorship open 24 hours past the Blogathon's conclusion, so you can still donate up to 7:00 a.m.(MST) Monday morning! Yay! :)

i sooooo know what you mean about the guilt. my wife can be in a bad mood, and i'll drive her and myself crazy trying to figure out what I did wrong... i just know if it's broke...i did it! ;)

Thoughtfully shared by: Theo at July 23, 2003 05:16 PM

Don't feel guilty hon. It's not like you're going to be sitting on your butt that day. You're fundraising for CHARITY, for cheese sakes!

You're such a good person!

Thoughtfully shared by: Mary at July 23, 2003 08:33 PM

Nothing to feel guilty about, Leigh. I bet your sisters have had times when they're unable to do their day, and you have willingly stepped in to help.
Like Mary said...you're such a good person. Always looking out for other people.

Thoughtfully shared by: Debbie at July 23, 2003 09:26 PM

I know is hard but you shouldn't feel guilty.
Charity is worth it.

hugs

Thoughtfully shared by: Martie at July 24, 2003 12:15 AM

you shouldn't feel guilty, but you do. That's the way you are. I'm sure your sister understands the situation. Be gentle with yourself, Leigh. We've all had times when, through no fault of our own, we had to say no because of a previous commitment. Love you, Lady!!!

Thoughtfully shared by: Beverly at July 24, 2003 05:37 AM