Stages .... milestones .... rites of passage - all part of growing up. As a parent, living through them with your children is sometimes joyful, sometimes sad; sometimes exciting, sometimes heartbreaking. The path through these times was worn long ago, but when you make the journey with your own children, it feels as though you are the first to ever travel it.

The one thing I always wanted was for my kids to feel they could come to me with anything, regardless of what it may be. The only way I could see that happening was to reinforce my words with plenty of support when and if they did, indeed, come to me. The single most important thing I do is take myself back to when I was their age; I remember those feelings, emotions, desires and needs teenagers and young adults go through - feelings I went through. I don't ever want my kids afraid to tell me anything, or to be embarrassed. I never belittle their revelations to me; nor do I ridicule.

Sometimes I want to throttle them, or break down crying, but I don't. I gather my thoughts and transport myself back in time, and suddenly I can totally understand the "whats and whys" of what I'm hearing. It can be very difficult at times, though. Plus at the same time one must temper the understanding and support with good old fashioned parental guidance. It's a tightrope walk, really. But one I am happy and honored to take. I just thank my lucky stars that my children feel they can tell me things ..... even when it's really hard for me hear.

Today was one of those days. I heard about a rite of passage which parents don't really want to think about, but is totally inevitable. Our babies grow up, and as hard as it is to think of them as adults, time and circumstance will make it impossible to deny. But I'll tell ya' what ..... even when our children are adults, they are never, ever too old to need their Moms.

Thank goodness.

You make me smile so much, Leigh. :) *hug*

Thoughtfully shared by: D at July 6, 2003 11:31 PM

I always look forward to coming here. You say things so eloquently! And... you are right. our kids should never be afraid to talk to us... My younger sister came to me first, when she got pregnant... that should have been my mother's place, but I was happy to step in and help her get things straight in her mind. My daughter has had so many times that she needed to talk, and I'm glad I was there for her. I will be here for her, until I go "home".

Thoughtfully shared by: Beverly at July 7, 2003 07:00 AM

Wish my mom had been like you! I told her nothing, and still tell her very little, because she's nothing but a pile o' judgment. She had an easy life, never had to support herself, went straight from mom's house to college dorm to husband's house. Has no clue what real life is like, and doesn't want to know.

Thoughtfully shared by: BeerMary at July 7, 2003 09:10 AM

it is a tight-rope walk. but, i'd rather hear it from them and they hear it from me....

thanks for the view into your world. go you, 'Mom.'

Thoughtfully shared by: theo at July 7, 2003 11:55 AM

That's great Leigh, you seem like a great mom.

Thoughtfully shared by: Martie at July 10, 2003 12:23 AM