I didn't hear from my son today. I haven't talked to him since yesterday, and I am worried. He's going through such a terribly difficult time right now. His heart has been ripped to shreds. While discussing this through email with my wonderful friend, John, I received a reply full of his unique brand of insight and understanding into the human spirit. I'd like to share part of it with you:

"People can easily lose sight of the best of themselves sometimes - I've nearly done it myself a few times...

but those who love them can often end up devastated in their refusal to give up on that special part of the other person which they have been privileged to see.

If he is holding on to that part of his wife, it might take a while for him to let it go, or to recover from it, even while she herself might appear to have left it behind. It doesn't make things any easier, and it doesn't feel very heroic at the time -

but as a testament to who he is, maybe it's as heroic as it gets."

I think John articulated the essence of who my son is -- his spirit, and the kind of man he is. While it does not make it any easier for me to watch him go through such intense pain, it does make me very proud of who he is. Hopefully someday soon he, himself, will be able to see who we see when we look at him .... and be proud, also.

Thank you, John. I am so grateful .... as always.

I dont know your son's story, but I hope he gets through his tragedy quickly and with as little pain as possible.

And, although I know it doesn't help at the moment, I believe that everything we do, everything we go through makes us stronger so that we might face the next hurdle in our lives... some being more painful than the last and some being utter bliss.

The scales always balance in the end and your son should be just about due for that utter bliss part. Tell him to hold on. This is just to ensure that he appreciates his good times when they come rolling by again.

Thoughtfully shared by: diana at February 15, 2003 11:57 PM

John is always one of the most wondrous souls... he has alot of wisdom, gave me answers to my own issues as well... thank you for sharing his wisdom

many hugs and much love to you and all the family my friend:)))
always me

Thoughtfully shared by: faewench at February 16, 2003 06:54 AM

You are so lucky to have a friend like John. What an amazing man! :)
Thanks for sharing a part of his wonderfully wise and caring heart & soul.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ryan right now.
((((((hugs))))))

Never fear challenges. They make you greater. The greater the challenge, the greater the Universe is saying you are!

Thoughtfully shared by: Debbie at February 16, 2003 03:54 PM

Awww one of my fondest subjects! JOHN! We often talk about heartspeak, well John is unique, he is fluent in Soulspeak!

Thoughtfully shared by: The other other favorite poet :) at February 16, 2003 09:11 PM