I've been pondering my friend Mark's entry in his blog entitled, "Right at the Bastards" (I encourage any artistically-inclined and/or creative-thinking person to read this!). As is typical with me, my thoughts travel like a ping-pong ball around in my head, and I began thinking about the days when I was a stay-at-home Mom (trust me, this actually does pertain to being artistic and creative *wink*). I can remember so well going into the bank where the teller was an acquaintance of mine. In making small-talk she asked me "if I was working", to which I replied, "Yes I am, I'm a stay-at-home mother". Know what she said next? She said, "It must be nice not to have to work and just be a housewife". OHHH MAN!! I was sooo mad! First of all, I was not then, nor am I now, married to my house! And I'll bet my life that I worked more hours than she did! ANYway .... all of this got me to thinking (more ping-ponging) about how we are defined by what we do, not by who we are. And then I was thinking about the strange and confused looks I get when I talk about my passion -- art and writing. I say things that I swear must come out of my mouth in a foreign language, judging from the looks I get. So I don't talk about it much. But that's over!

Right here, right now, I am declaring who I am; and it is NOT defined by what I do. I am married, therefore I am a wife; I was blessed with children, therefore I am a mother; I make money working in a store, therefore I am an employee; but those are things I do -- roles I fill because I choose to. But who I am is an independent-thinking woman with ideas, opinions and thoughts, conjured from the spirit I own which feeds the mind I use. I say and do things which might seem quirky to some people (mostly by those who wouldn't know a creative impulse if it bit them in the nose), like ponder wal-mart sacks in trees; but that is because the "who" I am enjoys pondering the "what ifs" and "what does it mean" things in life. The "who" I am is wholly happy, content and fulfilled when lost in the magic of creating; when I am taking a blank piece of paper and turning it into a picture of a face unknown to anyone but me; or filling it with the words whispered from my soul. That is my haven; that is my calling, and that, my friends, is who I am!

I will no longer live inside the mold I was forced to pour myself into because of the expectations and demands of all those who are confused by me! Be advised that from now on, you will just have to be confused ..... and I will continue to stand and wonder at wal-mart sacks in trees, and revel in it.

there's really nothing to add to that because i think you summed it up beautifully. :) although i don't have children or a husband, i can understand the restrictive feeling of being defined by things you do as opposed to who you ARE. i'm whistling and applauding you enthusiastically!! :):)

and it's always good to find another Law & Order obsessee. :D i hope it's okay that i added you to my list of reads. :)

Thoughtfully shared by: Alex at December 31, 2002 03:35 AM

YES YES YES!!!!!!!!

youare so right ppl define each other by waht they DO. on chat one of teh first questions is almsot always.. waht is your job.. then of course.. how much money do you make. you know me and my situation. taht has been a very difficult time for me, and i ahve come up with all kinds of creative ways to define myself so i fit...*thier* idea of waht i *should* be doing.
i try not to do that anymore.. i am simply me, living my llife the best way i can...and doing the things *I* need to be doing...defining my own life.

and being creative and simplying *being* me...really is good enough.

i love you leigh!!!!!

alwasy me:)

Thoughtfully shared by: your other fav poet at December 31, 2002 06:43 AM

Talk about identifying... Geez. I recently married The Man of My Dreams. He wants me to be happy in life, and he knows that I can't be happy working in an 8-5 job. I just hate it. So he and I decided that I would stay home and pursue whatever I wanted. I'm doing some photography and I'm planning to make a foray into webdesign. But when people ask me "Where do you work?", "Who is your employer?" or "What do you do?"... I always feel insufficient. Like I'm not worth anything.

I'm blessed to be in this position, and I think that I'm going to start holding up my head, looking people in the eye, and telling them exactly what I do for a living... "I'm lucky enough to be able to do exactly what I want. Whenever I want."

Thanks for your post. That was great. :)

Thoughtfully shared by: GeekGrrl at December 31, 2002 05:07 PM

YES!!! BRAVO, and Amen!!!!

I loved the look on my neighbour's face when I told her I shop for clothes at the op shop! lol To hell with high price stores! How many times have clothes from "big name" stores been tried on before you buy anyway? They're second hand the minute you walk out that door!!!! I have tons of quality clothes in my wardrobe, and I didn't have to pay the earth to look like a million bucks!!! I am who I am, and where I shop doesn't make me any better or worse than the next person! I'm a proud mother and wife...Sadie the cleaning lady, LOL but most importantly...I am ME! :))))

Thoughtfully shared by: Debbie at December 31, 2002 09:11 PM