I feel the weight of every decision, responsibility, expectation and obligation so acutely these days, and it is squeezing every ounce of life from my pores. Not literally speaking, but ... the essence of who I am. All of the good things. The creative and expressive parts of who I am .... the fun side .... the interesting side; and all that is left is the residue of tears, mixed with anger, resentment and self-pity, leaving in its wake someone I don't like very much. I've never denied the fact that I am a fairly emotionally-needy person, requiring a fair bit of maintenance; but the fact that I realize from where it originates has made it "easier" for me to understand and attempt to keep in check. There are times, though .... when I absolutely require, for my own soul's survival, reassurance, and for some time now, it just isn't there. I have been successful, for the most part, in exercising my self-taught skills in self-assurance, but lately ... it just isn't working. I feel .... defeated .... depleted .... empty. And I don't know how to fill the emptiness.

Hi Leigh,

Thanks for the supportive comments you left on my website. Your words made me feel just a little bit less alone during a week that just seemed to have no limit to its downward draft. From reading your latest entry I can see that we are vibrating on a similar emotional frequency. I Love the way you write and will definitely link to your site... that is if you don’t mind.

Thanks again.

Thoughtfully shared by: thatmark at December 7, 2002 01:24 PM

Hi Mark :)

That draft must have one powerful pull .... it sure seems to be affecting a vast area. ;) Yes, a similar emotional frequency ... your writing touched a very familiar place.

Of course I don't mind if you link to my site -- I would be honored. If you look, you'll see I've linked to yours as well. :)

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave your thoughts.

Leigh

Thoughtfully shared by: Leigh at December 7, 2002 03:26 PM